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Come Back to Care specializes in anti-racist, conscious and holistic parenting ran by somatic social justice practitioner, trauma-informed, resilience-oriented licensed psychotherapist, and relational developmental therapist Nat Vikitsreth

The Come Back to Care® Podcast

 

Re-Imagining Parenting to be Deeply Decolonized, Exquisitely Embodied & Intentionally Intergenerational…

This Podcast is for social justice curious caregivers of young children who want to build their families at the intersection of social change and intergenerational family wellness.

Part psychoeducation. Part political education. You’ll explore the tools you need to unlearn oppressive social norms and outdated family patterns that are shaping your parenting. So you can use your social justice values and child development science to guide your parenting.


 
 
 
 
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Cut the parenting noise to hear your own voice every other Sunday with me in your inbox…

Bite-sized reflections and action plans for you to build your own practice of social justice parenting & inner child re-parenting. Written with love and sent with care every other week.

 

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Your Action Sustains Our Movement 

I wholeheartedly commit to creating each episode of the Come Back to Care podcast with love and integrity. Making psychoeducation and political education free and accessible is important because liberation requires us to heal as we get free. 

Each episode is researched, created, and edited by me and is guided by my ancestors. Bringing forth the healing and political work from various lineages is heart work. Connecting the dots between child development science, decolonized mental health, and social justice action is also heart work.

This is where you come in. Your financial redistribution sustains our psychoeducation and political education efforts. Whether it's a one-time or ongoing redistribution, you help me make this work accessible, free, and ad-free. 

You have the power to shift our culture to be more equitable and free with your actions.

Please make a one-time or ongoing financial redistribution to support my work and sustain our free and accessible psychoeducation and political education on this podcast.

 

Episodes


Ep 64: Power-With With Your Family this Holiday with this Political Messaging Strategy

I first shared this episode with you last November and my mailbox got flooded with kind feedback from so many listeners saying how compassionate and concrete the strategy was. So, I’d love to share it with you again today, my dear co-conspirator.

In this episode, you and I will explore a framework for strategic communications that a political messaging expert and campaign advisor, Anat Shenker-Osorio, teaches. Then, you’ll adapt and apply this three-part framework to craft your own statement that you can use to set boundaries and protect your peace with those who judge or critique your parenting choices. I’ll share various examples of what this framework can look like when the critiques range from “you’re too soft” to “you’re gonna let your child do that?” This way you can experiment with this framework, leave what doesn’t feel right, and as always make it your method.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 63: Power-With With Gaza at Your Child's School with Nora Lester Murad

Today’s episode invites you to take direct action and practice power-with at our children’s schools through a campaign called Drop the ADL from Schools

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 62: Mothering, Not Smothering: Power With When Your Child is Struggling

In this episode, you and I are going to explore one action to power-with with your child when they struggle. You’ll also explore the science behind how power-with nurtures your child’s motivation and perseverance. You can prepare your child for the real world using power-with. This way you get to practice what feels aligned with your values and promote your child’s development at the same time.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 61: Unlearn Adult Supremacy & Power-With with Your Child

In this episode, you and I are going to explore one barrier that prevents many of us from meeting our children where they’re at. And that barrier is adult supremacy. Let’s unlearn this pattern of oppression together so that you can shift from power-over your child to power-with with them… most of the time. Then, we’ll pick one adult supremacy pattern to unlearn together and explore one fear that fuels our resistance to change. This episode is part one of our exploration and we’ll continue our unlearning in the following episode.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 60: [Bonus] Politicians aren’t Our Parents: What Disorganized Attachment Teaches Us about this Moment

In this episode, you and I will explore the both-and of voting and organizing in your community through the lens of disorganized attachment. Then, we’ll unpack what disorganized attachment can teach us about ways to get organized in this moment of uncertainty. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 59: [Bonus] Back-to-School Grounding Guide

In this bonus episode, you and I are going to explore two invitations to stay grounded amid the changes and transitions of back to school. Then, we’re going to unpack the sense of “here we go again” you might be feeling when it comes to both back to school and social justice action during these times. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 58: Why Re-Parenting Inner Child is Hard

This episode concludes our inner child re-parenting series (Ep 50-58). In this episode, you and I are going to recap some key concepts of inner child re-parenting that we’ve been talking about since episode 50. Then, we’ll explore some reasons why the people closest to you might not be the most supportive of you when you choose your own healing and choose to break the family cycles.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 57: How Elisa Sets Boundaries with Her Mom in front of her Teenagers

Our inner child re-parenting series (eps 50 to 58) continues.

In this episode, you will hear the conversation that I had with Elisa about boundary setting, intergenerational family healing, inner child re-parenting, and parenting teenagers. At the end, you’ll have one reflection question and invitation to integrate this discussion into your own boundary setting practices. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 56: Are You Regulating or Coping?

In this episode, you and I are going to explore how our inner child wounds can complicate our ability to practice regulation. Then, we’ll discuss one action we can do to slowly cultivate regulation and safety, going beyond coping and surviving. So that you can offer regulation to your child and meet their needs where they’re at, most of the time. And this practice will help you stay centered in moments when your child pushes your parenting buttons too.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 55: Pep Talk: Listen When You Have a “Bad” Parenting Day

Let’s take a quick breather from our inner child re-parenting series to re-center ourselves. It’s been a lot to process, hasn’t it? In this mini episode, you and I are going to explore three measures of parenting success that aren’t shame based but are more aligned with liberation and informed by child development science. If that sounds generative to you, let’s get started.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 54: [BONUS] Using Household Chores to Ground Yourself & Demand a Gaza Ceasefire

In this quick bonus episode, we’ll explore three body-based self-regulation exercises you can experiment with while doing household chores to get out of the freeze response and get back into direct action.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 53: Two Overlooked Actions to Soothe Your Parenting Triggers

Our inner child re-parenting series (eps 50 to 58) continues. In this episode, you and I are going to unpack what happens when we’re triggered both in parenting and social justice advocacy using our react-revert-reduce cycle. Then, we’ll close out the episode with two actions you can experiment with.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 52: How to Raise Change Agents: Lessons from Gaza Solidarity Encampments

Our inner child re-parenting series (eps 50 to 58) continues. In this episode, you and I are going to connect the dots between re-parenting our inner child and raising our children to take social justice action that’s aligned with their values, just like the university students who are a part of the anti-war movement now. You’ll explore three things you can play with today in your parenting to nurture your child’s sense of justice and advocacy skills.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 51: Why Intentions Don’t Matter When You’re Triggered (in Parenting & Activism)

Our inner child re-parenting series (eps 50 to 58) continues. In this episode, you and I will zoom in on our nervous system and see what’s going on in there when we’re triggered both in parenting and community organizing. Between this episode and the next one you’ll learn about three concrete tools to replace automatically reacting when you’re triggered with intentionally responding to your child and your co-conspirators in the community.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 50: Why Inner Child Healing Boosts Your Child's Development

Welcome to our inner child re-parenting series (eps 50 to 58). In this episode, you and I will explore these themes: why Inner child healing boosts your child's development and what inner child wounds are. Then, we’ll wrap up the episode with one action you can play with to care for your inner child wounds.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 49: [BONUS] How Aireen’s Breaking Generational Cycles & Transforming Parenting Triggers with Her Daughter

In this episode, you’ll hear about Aireen’s healing journey and how she puts the social justice parenting and inner child re-parenting ideas that we discuss in our podcast into action…most of the time. In our conversation, you’ll hear us talk about how Aireen was working with her parenting triggers to get unstuck from yelling at her little one. You’ll hear about some of the body-based strategies she and her child used together too.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 48: [BONUS] Why I Love Working with Parents & Young Children

In this episode, you’ll hear about how I started social justice organizing back in 2007, how I’ve learned to love and trust myself in the world that simply hates that I exist and look fabulous, and what made me fall in love with serving young children, parents, and families aka you.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 47: [BONUS] How to Practice Social Justice Parenting Today

In this episode, you and I are going to explore what social justice parenting means and what it actually looks like in practice using a framework I’ve been using with families for 15 years. You’ll see how the two components of the framework fit together so that you can begin applying it to your daily parenting at your own pace.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 46: Integrating Lessons from Season 4

In this season finale episode, you and I will explore what parenting agility or the hokey pokey of parenting means to our liberatory practices. Together we explore how do we stay in the struggle for liberation and shape the liberated future for our children to grow up in amid climate catastrophe and systemic oppression? How do we keep going without blowing our pain through others or giving in to despair, cynicism, and burnout? How do we keep building the liberated future we want when we only have a vague idea of what that might look like? How do we honor the uncertainty and complexity of our liberatory practice in a culture that demands that we find the single, holy grail, evidence-based solution that comes from a top-down expert?   

Special note: I’m taking a season break and returning for Season 5 in March 2024. Thank you so much.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 45: Find Your Roles in Liberation: An Antidote to Cynicism & Despair

In this episode, you and I are going to explore the roles that you play in liberation both in your home as a decolonized parent and in your community as a social justice advocate. You’ll hear examples of small-yet-significant parenting moments that you’re already doing. My hope is for these mundane and messy moments to be a concrete receipt that tells your inner critic, “excuse me, I am powerful, not powerless, because of these specific roles I’m playing as a parent in literally shaping the brains, hearts, and spirits of the future generations.” Then, you’ll reflect on 10 roles you can play in your community organizing based on the Social Change Ecosystem Map created by Deepa Iyer of the Building Movement Project

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 44: Protect Your Peace this Holiday with this Political Messaging Strategy

In this episode, you and I will explore a framework for strategic communications that a political messaging expert and campaign advisor, Anat Shenker-Osorio, teaches. Then, you’ll adapt and apply this three-part framework to craft your own statement that you can use to set boundaries and protect your peace with those who judge or critique your parenting choices. I’ll share various examples of what this framework can look like when the critiques range from “you’re too soft” to “you’re gonna let your child do that?” This way you can experiment with this framework, leave what doesn’t feel right, and as always make it your method.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 43: How to Keep Fighting for a Ceasefire when You Can’t Go Marching: Wisdom from Disability Justice

In this episode, you and I are going to unpack this question: how do we keep fighting for liberation in Gaza, Sudan, Congo, and Ukraine in between school drop off, pick up, and grocery runs? How do we fight against antisemitism and Islamophobia in between our work shifts, Zoom meetings, and the kids’ homework? How do we grieve the lives that have been lost when we can’t fall apart…otherwise the whole family will fall apart too? I invite you to explore a liberatory practice from disability justice by adapting the rhythm and pacing of your advocacy according to your capacity to replace burnout with sustained organizing. In this rhythm and pacing, you’ll experiment with ways to unplug and other advocacy actions to take to stay plugged in. It’s a bit of political analysis, a bit of neuroscience, and a whole lot of action.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 42: [BONUS] Somatic Warm-Ups Before You Demand a Gaza Ceasefire

In this episode, I’ll walk with you through a few somatic or body-based exercises. So that you can take a moment to take care of your nervous system and fill your cup. And then with fuller cups you and I can take action and demand a ceasefire…from a place of dignity and solidarity not fear, confusion, or performative allyship.

Special note: I’m taking a break for real now and I’ll be back on Nov 21st.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 41: Politicizing Abandonment Wounds & Practicing Interdependence in Parenting

In this episode, you and I are going to unpack the concept of “organized abandonment” together. A term that’s enlivened by professor Ruth Wilson Gilmore, a prison abolitionist and scholar. Then, we’ll explore one antidote to abandonment and codependence which is interdependence. We’ll close out the episode with four invitations for you to play with when you practice interdependence in your daily parenting. So that you can strengthen your social justice muscles of interdependence- not codependence- when you go out to your community and advocate for change.

A quick note: I’m taking a brief break and returning the first week of November.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 40: Healing Abandonment Wound & Shifting from Codependence to Interdependence

In this episode, you and I are going to explore an aspect of attachment theories that can help us make sense of our fear of rejection and abandonment. As per usual, we’ll also layer a political analysis on top. Then, you’ll unpack one invitation you can experiment with to heal your wound of abandonment and shift from codependence to interdependence in your parenting practice.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 39: Attachment Basics to Know Before Re-Parenting Your Inner Child

In this episode, you and I are going to explore a question that one listener emailed me about attachment theories: what inner child wounds are and how to re-parent our inner child. So we’ll start by going right to the heart of attachment to explore why we need to shift from saying “attachment styles” to “attachment strategies.” Then, we’ll continue our exploration of why attachment discussions need to be grounded in a social-political analysis; otherwise, we risk perpetuating ableist, individualistic, and patriarchal illusions of mental health. We’re going back to basics together to get at the heart of what it takes to heal.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 38: How Sylvia Shifts from Triggered to Centered, Most of the Time

In this episode, Sylvia shares her decolonized parenting practices as she’s raising her bi-cultural and bilingual 8- and 10-year-old mixed race children. You’ll hear how Sylvia re-parents her inner child to move through her parenting triggers. I’ll offer reflective questions for you throughout the episode as invitations to reflect on and enrich your own parenting practices.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 37: Where do I start “meeting my child where they’re at”?

In this episode, you and I are going to explore two needs that children across cultures and abilities need from their caregivers to thrive. Then, you’ll unpack three things- action, awareness, and agility- that you can play with to meet those needs in your child...most of the time. Together, we’ll find ways to put 60 years of attachment research into action, so that you’re ready when systemic oppression leaves you too tired and inner child wounds leave you too triggered to show up fully for your child.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 36: Three Ways to Power-With and Meet Your Child Where They’re At While Keeping Them Safe

In this episode, you and I are going to unpack parenting worries and fears that drive us to unintentionally center coercion, control, compliance, and domination in parenting. Then, we’ll explore a three-part process of powering-with so you can design your own way to balance power-over and power-with in your parenting. You’ll also look at how power-with builds children’s brain development and social-emotional development.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 35: Four Ways Your Child Can Help You Unlearn People Pleasing

The pressure to teach and prepare your child to survive systems of oppression can easily take over your parenting driver’s seat and put your social justice values in the back seat, especially when you’re exhausted. To relieve this pressure and slow down the urgency to teach people pleasing to your child 100% of the time, let’s step back and notice four lessons your child is already teaching you about liberation. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 34: Breaking Cycles of People Pleasing: Attachment Theory Meets Power Analysis

In this episode, you and I are going to unpack people pleasing or appeasement. We’ll unpack what’s going on in our body and nervous system when we people please. Then, we’ll zoom out and look at people pleasing in our social, cultural, and political contexts. And we’ll close out by discussing ways to address people pleasing in parenting. I hope we can shift the question from “am I raising my child to be a people pleaser?” to “how do I teach my child to use people pleasing when they need to be safe and then set it aside and be their whole self when they no longer need it?”

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 33: One Way to Celebrate Pride as a Decolonized Family

In this episode, you and I are going to explore lessons from research on queer and trans resiliency. And perhaps, when it’s safe-ish to do so, we can apply them in our lives so we can be all of who we are instead of contorting our bodies to fit into the tiny gender binary boxes defined by white, colonial, capitalist patriarchy. Next, we’ll explore ways to apply the same intention to family building so that our children can be proud of all facets of who they’re becoming too. You’ll hear reflective questions, political analyses, research on queer and trans resiliency, and child development science so you can design and discern how you’d like to integrate these ideas into your daily parenting.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 32: How to Work with Parenting Guilt and Self-Judgment Pt. II

In this episode, you and I will explore a practice that can lower the volume of your inner critics and strengthen your nervous system at the same time too. I’ll share why this practice can be really nourishing, drawing on lessons from neuroscience, western psychology, and social justice action. If that sounds generative to you, let’s get started. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 31: How to Work with Parenting Guilt and Self-Judgment: The 4 D’s Framework

In this episode, I invite you to explore your parenting guilt and self-judgment through a new perspective, specifically through the lenses of both western psychotherapy and social justice action. You’ll walk you through reflective questions in a framework I call the 4 D’s to transform your parenting guilt and inner critics into actions that align with your values.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 30: Integrating Lessons from Season 3

In this episode, you and I are going to look back and reflect on season 3 together. We’ll zoom out to remind ourselves why we’re doing this hard and heart work of social justice parenting and inner child re-parenting. And from this big-picture perspective, we’ll see what adult developmental skills are important for your healing and raising your child. Then, we’ll zoom in a bit to explore three main themes from the season so that when guilt, perfectionism, and urgency arise, you’re ready to acknowledge them and let them go. Lastly, we’ll zoom in a little closer to review one highlight from each episode in this season so you can see which topic might be something nourishing you need or something caring to share with your beloved community. I want this season finale episode to reflect this intentionality of slowing down. So we’re going to pause, reflect, review, rest, and digest before we continue our liberatory journey together in Season 4 which will begin mid-May. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 29: How to Support Trans Rights, Reproductive Justice & Disability Justice As A Decolonized Parent

In this episode, you and I are going to explore a thread that weaves trans issues, reproductive issues, and disability issues together to see why trans issues affect all of us. After this quick political analysis, you’ll explore one macro-level and one micro-level action to advocate for trans rights, reproductive and disability justice. You’ll hear my personal stories of trans experiences too as you engage in 7 self-reflection questions on self-determination. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 28: What Parents Can Learn About Boundary Setting From Black and Asian Solidarity

In this episode, you and I are going to explore what solidarity means by studying how Black and Asian communities have advocated for collective liberation together throughout history. Then, we’ll explore a key component for this kind of solidarity to blossom: boundary setting. We’ll unpack what just-right boundaries look like in social justice advocacy and in parenting. And we’ll wrap this episode up with a discussion about how our inner child wounds affect our boundary setting skills.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 27: Why Your Child’s Resilience Needs Your Parenting Mistakes

Let’s reconsider parental love and dedication by replacing perfectionism with rhythm. Dive into child development science of attachment and resilience. Discover why your parenting mistakes are necessary for your child’s development and your own parental development.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 26: Answering Your Questions About Decolonized Parenting & Inner Child Re-Parenting

In this episode, you and I are going to go back to the fundamentals and explore these six questions together: what is an inner child wound? Why is it so important to heal inner child wounds or re-parent your inner child? What’s decolonized parenting? How can you begin practicing decolonized parenting? Why do we address both inner child wounds and internalized oppression wounds together? And lastly where do we begin this complex & lifelong work? I hope that in understanding these definitions you can discern what gifts and strengths you bring to our liberation work and what areas require unlearning and relearning.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 25: Bridging the Gap between Intention & Action for Your 2023 Parenting Goals 

Let’s begin 2023 by bridging the gap between intention and action for your 2023 parenting goals. Explore some unseen forces that can get between your best intentions and your goals by talking about the Immunity to Change model which will help us understand what keeps us from getting to our goals. Then, do a neuroscience-based self-reflection quiz to get even clearer about what exactly is stopping us from making necessary changes.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 24: A Love Letter to Parents

In this episode, it’s all about love. You’ll hear encouraging words from five fellow decolonized, embodied, and intergenerational parents and myself. I hope our love and care fill your cup a bit and let you know that you’re not alone even though parenting in a pandemic feels so isolating sometimes. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!

 

Ep 23: Three Social Justice Actions to Build Your Parenting Support System

In this episode, you and I are going to roll up our sleeves and dig into how to build a parenting support system. We’ll explore what social justice actions like pod mapping, building mutual aid networks, and nonviolent conflict resolution can teach us about how to build a parenting support system that’s based on trust, reciprocity, and interdependence. We’ll also unpack how inner child wounds can sometimes make this interdependence and community building work so uncomfortable and challenging.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 22: How My Parents & I Are Breaking Our Family Cycles Together

In this episode, you and I are going to explore what it looks like to put your parents or caregivers in their contexts to break your family’s intergenerational cycles. I’ll share my own story…specifically the story of when I slammed the door in my parents’ faces last month. To start, I’ll unpack how my mother and I got to the root of our family rule to “always be nice, polite, and grateful”. Then we’ll reflect together on how you are teaching gratitude to your child and nurturing their emotional literacy. Next I’ll share how my father and I had an honest conversation about his survival strategy that he projects onto me. And then we’ll pause to reflect so that you can identify your parental figures’ survival strategies that might be hidden behind your own family rules or patterns.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 21: Surviving and Thriving in Uncertainty and Oppression Without Toxic Positivity

In this episode, I’m inviting you to explore this question: how do we survive and thrive in times of uncertainty and unrest? Especially when your body and nervous system don’t usually feel safe, perhaps, because your assigned identities are not white, middle class, cisgendered, hetero male presenting, Christian, able and young bodied. How do we get unstuck from survival so that we can live, rest, and play when it’s safe enough… without slipping into toxic positivity?

We’ll start by unpacking three hidden costs of being stuck in patterns of survival and discussing two invitations to get unstuck. You and I will then discuss one way to cultivate well-being when our struggles are collective, structural, and historical. Then, we’ll wrap up the episode with one activity I invite you to experiment with even before you practice your usual gratitude practice, self-compassion practice, or self-love practice.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


I want to invite you to go behind the scenes with me as we revisit each episode from episode 12 to episode 19. I’ll pull out one highlight from each episode and share my creative process and the inspiration behind each episode. So this episode is less about learning new information and more about integrating what we’ve learned together so far.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!

EP 20: Reviewing and Recapping Season 2


Let’s explore these questions together: how are we going to keep doing this liberation work together as a community of decolonized parents? What are the smallest daily practices we can do to play the long game of liberation? In this episode, you and I are going to frame these questions like we’re going on a road trip to liberation together. Like on any summer road trip, we have lots to unpack and lots to pack.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!

EP 19: Social Justice Parenting For The Long Haul


EP 18: Why it’s so hard to get free Pt.2

This episode is part two of the Why it’s so hard to get free series. The previous episode is all about why it’s so hard to unsubscribe from oppressive social norms. Now we’re zooming in to focus on our family. In this episode, you and I are going to unpack some of the reasons why breaking family cycles can be so difficult even when we set firm intentions not to pass down hurtful family patterns to our children. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


EP 17: Why it’s so hard to get free Pt.1

This episode is part one of the Why it’s so hard to get free series. In this episode, you and I are going to unpack some of the reasons why unsubscribing from the social norms of white capitalist patriarchy can be so hard even when we know they’re not built to uphold every body’s humanity. Then, in the next episode, we’ll also explore how these challenges are mirrored in the family unit by talking about why breaking family cycles can be so difficult even when we set firm intentions not to pass down hurtful family patterns to our children.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 16: What Children Can Teach Us About Change & Liberation Through Emergent Strategy

In this episode, we’re going to explore child development through the lens of Emergent Strategy, a framework for understanding change. I have stories of babies, toddlers, and their families I’ve served to share with you. Together we’ll connect the dots between these children’s development and the ways they embody some elements of Emergent Strategy like nonlinearity, iteration, decentralization of power, and interdependence.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 15: Four Ways to Practice Interdependence in Parenting

In this episode, you and I are going to look at our culture’s obsession with individualism and independence because the US’s Independence Day is right around the corner. Then, we’re going to explore an alternative which is interdependence through the lenses of human evolution, social justice action, and spirituality. After this exploration, I’ll connect these dots back to parenting so that you can play with interdependence in your daily parenting as a decolonized, embodied, and intergenerational parent.  

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 14: How to Start Healing Inner Child Wounds & Practicing Decolonized Parenting

In this episode, you and I are going to go back to the basics, back to the whys, the foundation, the heart and soul of decolonized parenting and intergenerational family healing. This episode is a starter kit for decolonized, embodied, and intergenerational parenting, and I hope that it helps you experiment with healing your inner child wounds and unlearning white capitalist conditioning in your parenting. That means I have some questions, frameworks, and invitations for you to play with as you’re loving up on your inner child while practicing social justice through your daily parenting. So that you can break the family cycles you don’t want to pass down, honor the ones you do, and align your parenting practice with your values.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 13: Decolonizing Discipline: Replacing Punishment with Boundaries & Accountability

This episode is part 2 of our discipline series. In this episode, you and I are going to explore the ways that our society’s obsession with violence and punishment can get played out in our parenting unknowingly, especially when we discipline our children. Discipline can be an opportunity to flex your social justice action muscles and practice power-with and accountability instead of control, coercion, and dominance that you might not want in your own home.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 12: Three Ways to Turn Toddler Tantrums into Teachable Moments 

 

This episode is part 1 of our discipline series. In this episode, we’re going to unpack toddlers’ and preschoolers’ tantrums and meltdowns. We’re going to rethink 3 common behavior management techniques: 1) decrease the bad behaviors, 2) be consistent, and 3) ignore the tantrums. After we explore each technique, I’ll offer an alternative way to think about tantrums and meltdowns. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


EP 11: What We Can Learn About Decolonized Parenting From Transgender Day of Visibility

In this episode, I’d love to invite you to get curious about the topic of visibility with me as we honor Transgender Day of Visibility on March 31st. We’re going to connect the dots between Transgender Day of Visibility and decolonized parenting. I’ll also share my personal journey as a trans woman that led me to this work of decolonized, embodied, and intergenerational family care. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!

 

Ep 10: Top 4 Questions Parents Ask Me About Talking to Kids About Race & Racism

In this episode, I’m sharing with you the top 4 questions I have gotten over the years from parents like you about having "the race talk" with toddlers and preschoolers. The questions that I’m going to explore and unpack with you in this episode are: What do I say if I don’t want to “traumatize” them? How do I even start the conversation if they don’t ask me about race and racism? What do I say if my child said something racist or oppressive?  What do I say when I actually don’t know the answer? Or when I don't have the time and energy even though I’m really committed to anti-oppression parenting?

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!

 

Ep 9: Three Things to Know Before Talking to Your Toddlers & Preschoolers About Race & Racism

In this episode, you’ll deepen your understanding of how toddlers and preschoolers are forming biases, stereotypes, and prejudices. Together we’ll explore questions like why is it so hard for us, grownups, to talk to young children about race and racism, especially when we really, really want to? Is it too early to have this race talk with toddlers and preschoolers? How do these little humans learn about biases? And lastly Where do we start?

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 8: Lessons from Encanto on Intergenerational Family & Inner Child Healing

In this episode, we're going to talk about Encanto! Yes, the Disney animated movie. We will look at the Madrigal family dynamics across generations to unpack their intergenerational family trauma and healing.

We’ll take a deep dive to understand the main characters and their superpowers and bring compassion to how their past affects how they love and relate to one another in the present. Together we will look at the Madrigals through the lenses of attachment theory, family systems theory, neurobiology of trauma, collective trauma, collective healing, and social justice.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 7: How Tori Heals Her Inner Child While Raising Her Toddler

In this episode, you’ll hear a conversation I had with a fantastic In-Out-N-Through™ program graduate, Tori. Tori was so kind to chat with me about her experience in the program. It was heartwarming to see Tori and Chris come to understand each other’s upbringing and social conditioning to see how they each discovered new ways to communicate and support each other and deepen their co-parenting game. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 6: Lessons From “Parenting Advice” From 1880 to 2022

In this episode, I want to take a trip down memory lane to look at how systemic oppression affected parenting advice throughout US history. My intention for this episode is for you to detangle the knots of systemic oppression from your own parenting, by taking a look at how capitalism, patriarchy colonialism, and white supremacy have been shaping parenting common sense throughout history.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 5: What Parents Can Learn from Performative Allyship & Performative Parenting

In this episode, let's roll up our sleeves and dig deep into the topics of performative allyship and performative parenting. What do they have in common? What can we learn from them when we take shame out of the equation, and why might performative allyship and performative parenting actually be good for both social justice advocacy and decolonized parenting.

I truly respect your discomfort and your humanity. That's why shame isn't the focus of what we're talking about today. 

My goal is to invite you to be in this discomfort together with me long enough to see what we can learn from this emotionally charged topic of performative allyship to learn some lessons together and keep practicing social justice, especially through our daily parenting.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 4: Three Ways to Practice Social Justice through Parenting & Promote Your Child's Development At the Same Time

What if you could strengthen your social justice muscles through your everyday parenting practices? What if a diaper change builds a foundation of your baby's brain development while offering you an opportunity to practice power with instead of power over?

I believe with my whole heart that you can parent your child the same way you advocate for equity and social justice so that you don't have to pick and choose between the two. 

In this episode, we explore what it's like when your parenting decisions are driven by equity and liberation, no matter what sleep, feeding, and soothing techniques you swear by so that you can practice parenting in ways that support social change in the community and promote your child's development. 

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 3: Three Tools to Use When Your Inner Child Gets in the Way of Your Best-ish Parenting Intentions

In this episode, I break down the science behind systemic oppression injuries and attachment/ inner child wounds. You’ll hear how we internalize them without even noticing. That’s why we can’t quite think our way out of these unconscious patterns.

In other words, your inner child doesn’t really care about your parenting intentions. To break free and unsubscribe from the outdated family patterns and oppressive social norms, I wholeheartedly believe that we need self-reflection, storytelling, and body-based practices done in a community (what I called the In-Out-N-Through™ framework).

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 2: Re-Imagine Parenting:
Deeply Decolonized & Intentionally Intergenerational


When you ask yourself the question, “To be a good parent, I must…,” whose voice do you hear? What is the answer that you come up with? For many of us, the answer to this question is affected by two invisible (yet fundamental) roadblocks: internalized oppression and intergenerational family trauma. 

In today’s episode, I address these two roadblocks so that you can experiment with ways to make parenting an expression of ALL of who you are. You’ll explore ways to parent your child for social change and re-parenting your inner child for intergenerational family healing.

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!


Ep 1: Welcome to the Come Back to Care Podcast

Welcome to the very first episode of the Come Back to Care podcast! This podcast is for social justice curious and conscious parents on a journey to align their daily parenting with social justice practices, promote intergenerational family healing, and unsubscribe from internalized oppression. 

Working with parents, caregivers, and young children is an absolute honor. I’m wholeheartedly excited to have you build this community of care with me!

Learn more about this episode, access transcripts, show notes and acknowledgements here!