EP 17: Why it’s so hard to get free Pt.1

 

Episode Summary:

This episode is part one of the Why it’s so hard to get free series. In this episode, you and I are going to unpack some of the reasons why unsubscribing from the social norms of white capitalist patriarchy can be so hard even when we know they’re not built to uphold every body’s humanity. Then, in the next episode, we’ll also explore how these challenges are mirrored in the family unit by talking about why breaking family cycles can be so difficult even when we set firm intentions not to pass down hurtful family patterns to our children.

Full episode transcript here.

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • It’s important to know the barriers to getting free so we can keep recommitting our efforts in decolonize parenting.

  • Our human need to blend in and belong to both social norms and family rules to survive is and has been strong even at the expense of our own humanity, authenticity, and dignity.

  • Shame keeps us from violating those social norms. We shame ourselves and others who deviate from the norms.

  • Nat’s example of shaming her friend for failing capitalism and her decolonization work to unpack that shame.

  • Nat’s example of transphobia and the underlying shame being weaponized against trans women.

  • Lateral violence: “it’s as if it was easier to fight one another than to fight systemic oppression.”

  • Our shame and fight-flight reaction make it so hard for us to get free from oppressive social norms.

  • The heart of decolonization is developing the agility and discernment to know when to protect and when to connect; when to survive and when to thrive.

  • Systemic oppression also conditions us to believe that oppression is human nature. So why reinvent the wheel?

  • 2 questions understand your inner resistance to break free from oppressive social norms.

  • Honestly unpacking what you’re most worried about giving up when you actually work towards anti-oppression.

  • Our desire to keep peace, when out of balance, can be another trap that prevents us from re-imagining a culture that’s equitable and free.

  • Decolonization is about grieving what’s familiar and comfortable.