Ep 28: What Parents Can Learn About Boundary Setting From Black and Asian Solidarity

“…we adapt to whatever childhood experiences we had. When no one was there to reflect back to you that crying means sad and there’s a safe way to navigate through that emotion, it’s hard to know that your feelings are real and they are valid. That can make seemingly simple things like opening up to be vulnerable, taking risks, taking up space in the world, receiving kindness from others, or owning your oops and apologizing feel not just uncomfortable but like a threat.”

Episode Outline

• Defining solidarity

• Unpacking the model minority myth and its roots in white supremacy

• Exploring the parallel between caste apartheid and racism

• Examples of Black and Asian solidarity throughout history

• Defining boundaries- just-right, rigid, and porous- in social justice advocacy and parenting

• Three inner child wounds that make boundary setting hard

• Three invitations to re-parent those inner child

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Resources Mentioned:

• Lilla Watson

• Dean Spade: Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During this Crisis and the Next

• Mikki Kendall Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women that a Movement Forgot

• Ep 5: What Parents Can Learn from Performative Allyship & Performative Parenting

• The New York Times: Success Story, Japanese-American Style; Success Story, Japanese-American Style

• CODE SWITCH- From Wrong To Right: A U.S. Apology For Japanese Internment

• 6 Charts That Dismantle The Trope Of Asian Americans As A Model Minority

• Scott Kurashige: The Shifting Grounds of Race: Black and Japanese Americans in the Making of Multiethnic Los Angeles

• The history of tensions — and solidarity — between Black and Asian American communities, explained

• Frederick Douglass Describes The “Composite Nation”

• Passing It On - A Memoir By Yuki Kochiyama (2004)

• Asian and Black Communities Have a Long History of Shared Solidarity

• Black & Asian Christians United Against Racism

• Dr Ambedkar’s Letter to W. E. B. Du Bois, July 1946

• Thenmozhi Soundararajan- The Trauma of Caste: A Dalit Feminist Meditation on Survivorship, Healing, and Abolition 

• Three Social Justice Approaches to Having Hard Family Conversations

• Nedra Glover Tawwab- The Set Boundaries Workbook: Practical Exercises for Understanding Your Needs and Setting Healthy Limits

• Ep 4: Three Ways to Practice Social Justice through Parenting & Promote Your Child's Development At the Same Time

• Susan Hart- The Impact of Attachment

• Ogden & Fisher- Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment 

• Dr. Jenny Wang- Permission to Come Home: Reclaiming Mental Health As Asian Americans

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  The In-Out-N-Through® Program

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