Ep 33: One Way to Celebrate Pride as a Decolonized Family
“…to embody pride of who you are, which parts of you are you reclaiming and reconnecting with this year? Specifically, the parts that you had to hide away or shame away because they weren’t acceptable growing up. The parts that might have been too much or not enough for your family and society.”
Episode Summary
In this episode, you and I are going to explore lessons from research on queer and trans resiliency. And perhaps, when it’s safe-ish to do so, we can apply them in our lives so we can be all of who we are instead of contorting our bodies to fit into the tiny gender binary boxes defined by white, colonial, capitalist patriarchy. Next, we’ll explore ways to apply the same intention to family building so that our children can be proud of all facets of who they’re becoming too. You’ll hear reflective questions, political analyses, research on queer and trans resiliency, and child development science so you can design and discern how you’d like to integrate these ideas into your daily parenting.
Episode Outline
What Pride means to Nat (hint: it’s not about authenticity or positivity).
Nat’s invitation for you to embody Pride in your full humanity, especially if you’re in non-dominant bodies
How this invitation was born.
Studies on queer and trans resiliency on self-determination.
Honoring discomfort during this reflection exercise. Moving slowly is key to moving through grief and discomfort.
Nat’s personal story of the part of herself she’s been reclaiming slowly since 2018.
Loving your child doesn’t mean liking every part of them all the time.
Research on temperament and goodness of fit.
Shifting from morality (good-bad parenting binary) to compassion (low goodness of fit) and accountability (ways to meet your child where they’re at while honoring your own needs).
Pride and capitalism, colonialism, and white supremacy.
Meeting your child where they’re at when it comes to the parts of them that are easier to like and harder to like.
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Resources Mentioned:
From Neurons to Neighborhoods: The Science of Early Childhood Development
Chess S, Thomas A. Origins and evolution of behavior disorders. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press; 1984. [Google Scholar]
Chess S, Thomas A. Goodness of fit: Clinical applications for infancy through adult life. Philadelphia, PA: Bruner/Mazel; 1999. [Google Scholar]
Chess S, Thomas A, Rutter M, Birch HG. Interaction of temperament and environment in the production of behavioral disturbances in children. American Journal of Psychiatry. 1963;12:142–148. [PubMed] [Google Scholar]
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