Ep 39: Attachment Basics to Know Before Re-Parenting Your Inner Child

"Yet individualism has us believe that it’s our personal responsibility to embark on our healing journey as a solo assignment, with a checklist of self-improvement to work through on our couch alone. Just as we shift from focusing on attachment style to attachment strategy, I invite you to shift the question from what you do to heal to who you do this healing with."

 
 

Episode Summary:

In this episode, you and I are going to explore a question that one listener emailed me about attachment theories: what inner child wounds are and how to re-parent our inner child. So we’ll start by going right to the heart of attachment to explore why we need to shift from saying “attachment styles” to “attachment strategies.” Then, we’ll continue our exploration of why attachment discussions need to be grounded in a social-political analysis; otherwise, we risk perpetuating ableist, individualistic, and patriarchal illusions of mental health. We’re going back to basics together to get at the heart of what it takes to heal.

Full episode transcript here.

 

Episode Outline

  • What’s attachment and why it’s relevant to parenting?

  • Why we need to shift from attachment styles to attachment strategies.

  • Unlearning linear thinking rooted in white supremacy and colonialism.

  • Shifting from getting stuck in survival to re-parenting your inner child.

  • The attachment science behind inner child wounds (aka intergenerational transmission of attachment)

  • Two foundations of inner child wound healing: a) do it with those you trust (bye, individualism and hello, bell hooks) and b) see your parents as people.

  • Why we need to contextualize our caregivers: getting unstuck from blame and applying indigenous theories of trauma

 
 

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