Ep 40: Healing Abandonment Wound & Shifting from Codependence to Interdependence
"To protect yourself from being abandoned, you had to overlearn abandoning yourself to hyper-focus on what your caregivers needed and abandoning your authenticity to shapeshift into the quote unquote “perfect child” they wanted you to be. By mastering this strategy of people pleasing, you hoped they wouldn’t have to leave you."
Episode Summary:
In this episode, you and I are going to explore an aspect of attachment theories that can help us make sense of our fear of rejection and abandonment. As per usual, we’ll also layer a political analysis on top. Then, you’ll unpack one invitation you can experiment with to heal your wound of abandonment and shift from codependence to interdependence in your parenting practice.
Episode Outline
What fear of emotional abandonment looks like- both gifts and wounds- in adult relationships.
How is this wound of emotional abandonment inflicted: Attachment theories explained.
What codependence has got to do with it?
Shifting from codependence to interdependence in adult relationships.
What fear of abandonment looks like in parenting: the obvious and not-so-obvious patterns.
Family rules you teach your child can shed light on abandonment wound.
What’s re-parenting inner child aka healing inner child wounds?
One acronym to begin healing abandonment wound.
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Resources Mentioned:
Ep 39: Attachment Basics to Know Before Re-Parenting Your Inner Child
The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis
Ep 26: Answering Your Questions About Decolonized Parenting & Inner Child Re-Parenting
IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging
Enhancing Attachment and Reflective Parenting in Clinical Practice, A Minding the Baby Approach
Ep 37: Where do I start “meeting my child where they’re at”?
Special Invitations:
Take what you need, leave the rest.
There are two free trainings for you to choose. Take one or both!
Talking to Kids about Race in Ways that They Get & You Don’t Sweat Course
and/or
Beyond Time In & Time Out: What to Do with Toddler Tantrums & Meltdowns, a Self-Guided Audio Workshop
COME BACK TO CARE IS ON PATREON!
Join me in a virtual gathering once a month for you to digest the information in the podcast with me and other Social Justice Curious listeners.
We'll put awareness into action together with group accountability. I'll facilitate this caring space and you come curious and come as you are. We'll support each other in solidarity and co create decolonized parenting and inner child reparenting in action together.
Or, please consider leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcast or a rating on Spotify.