Ep 52: How to Raise Change Agents: Lessons from Gaza Solidarity Encampments

“Despite being arrested, punished, harassed, and misunderstood; the students co-regulate with one another. They’re staying rooted in their values and holding space for complex nuances. They’re embodying Grace Lee Boggs’ medicine: “a revolution that is based on people exercising their creativity in the midst of devastation is one of the great historical contributions of humankind.”

Episode Summary:

Our inner child re-parenting series (eps 50 to 58) continues. In this episode, you and I are going to connect the dots between re-parenting our inner child and raising our children to take social justice action that’s aligned with their values, just like the university students who are a part of the anti-war movement now. You’ll explore three things you can play with today in your parenting to nurture your child’s sense of justice and advocacy skills.

Full episode transcript here.

Episode Outline

How our student protesters practice solidarity in generative and creative ways.
Raising our young children to act begins with us meeting their emotional needs, most of the time.
Meeting our children’s needs requires us to heal our inner child wounds so we can see their needs clearly.
The attachment science behind the importance of your child feeling seen and heard (most of the time)
Nat’s personal example of being seen and heard when she first transitioned socially.
Two categories of children’s emotional needs: connection and exploration.
Two ways to meet those needs: “I get you” and “I got you.”
How raising children to be anti-racist and anti-oppressive starts with “I get you” and “I got you.”
One question to address your parenting guilt and regret for when you couldn’t meet your child where they were at.
How systemic oppression can be a barrier to you meeting your child where there’re at.
One concrete action to play with when you’re tired but want to show up for your child.
Two ways your upbringing and its inner child wounds can be a barrier to you meeting your child where there’re at.
Defining inner child wounds and exploring why it’s important to heal them.
Two ways to work with your co-parents and partners to heal your inner child wounds.
Why it’s important to only “get it right” 30% of the time.

Resources Mentioned

2,000 Campus Protesters for Gaza Have Been Arrested. Momentum’s Only Building.

Inside Columbia’s Gaza solidarity encampment

Students Speak Out From Free Gaza Encampment

Jewish student protesters celebrate Passover Seder in encampments

At the Dark End of the Street by Danielle McGuire

Ep 45: Find Your Roles in Liberation: An Antidote to Cynicism & Despair

Thea Abu El-Haj

Grace Lee Boggs

Rahma Zein

the Adalah Justice Project

EP 36: Three Ways to Power-With and Meet Your Child Where They’re At While Keeping Them Safe

The Power of Showing Up Dan Siegel and Tiny Payne Bryson

Lyons-Ruth, K., Bronfman, E., & Parsons, E. (1999). Maternal frightened, frightening, or atypical behavior and disorganized infant attachment patterns. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 64(3), 67–96. https://doi.org/10.1111/1540-5834.00034

Julian, M. M., Rosenblum, K. L., Doom, J. R., Leung, C. Y. Y., Lumeng, J. C., Cruz, M. G., Vazquez, D. M., & Miller, A. L. (2018). Oxytocin and parenting behavior among impoverished mothers with low vs. high early life stress. Archives of women's mental health, 21(3), 375–382. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00737-017-0798-6

Gunnar, M. R., & Hostinar, C. E. (2015). The social buffering of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenocortical axis in humans: Developmental and experiential determinants. Social neuroscience, 10(5), 479–488. https://doi.org/10.1080/17470919.2015.1070747

Jack P. Shonkoff, Andrew S. Garner, THE COMMITTEE ON PSYCHOSOCIAL ASPECTS OF CHILD AND FAMILY HEALTH, COMMITTEE ON EARLY CHILDHOOD, ADOPTION, AND DEPENDENT CARE, AND SECTION ON DEVELOPMENTAL AND BEHAVIORAL PEDIATRICS, Benjamin S. Siegel, Mary I. Dobbins, Marian F. Earls, Andrew S. Garner, Laura McGuinn, John Pascoe, David L. Wood; The Lifelong Effects of Early Childhood Adversity and Toxic Stress. Pediatrics January 2012; 129 (1): e232–e246. 10.1542/peds.2011-2663

The Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children

Sroufe, L. Alan. (2005). Attachment and development: A prospective, longitudinal study from birth to adulthood. Attachment & human development. 7. 349-67. 10.1080/14616730500365928.

Ep 31: How to Work with Parenting Guilt and Self-Judgment: The 4 D’s Framework

The Emotional Life of the Toddler

Episode 26: Answering Your Questions About Decolonized Parenting & Inner Child Re-Parenting.

Ep 15: Four Ways to Practice Interdependence in Parenting

Episode 27: Why Your Child’s Resilience Needs Your Parenting Mistakes